By Lorenzo Simpson
All eyes are on Donald Glover this year, with the release of his new video “This Is America” making waves all over the internet. I blinked hard when I saw it was going to be a segment on Access Hollywood. The well-spoken-token has gone from an indie rapper with credits on 30 Rock and Community to full blown celebrity status after his Golden Globe win for his FX show Atlanta. The weird nerdy black kid of the rap world is even playing Lando Calrissian in the new Star Wars movie. For longtime Donald fans, this feels like a win for Black nerds across the board.
After all the years of being ridiculed for being Black and liking comics, anime and cosplay, these alternative Black kids finally have someone in the spotlight they can point to and say, “He’s just like me, and he’s doing just fine.” For many people, it’s the first time in their lives where they feel like being who they are doesn’t make them less Black, it just makes them fully realized people.
But the rise of Black nerd culture has also brought light to issues within the Black nerd community, specifically concerning men. For every guy that swears his allegiance to Childish Gambino, there’s a Black woman saying she doesn’t trust him. For every Black man planning out their outfit to wear opening day of the Han Solo movie, there’s a Black woman wondering why Donald said he liked dating the “Black woman of every culture,” only to end up having a child with a white woman anyway?
I asked one of my Black female followers to share her experience with Black male nerds with me:
“[T]here are times when I’m having a conversation with a Black male nerd and they’ll say something along the lines of “you’re not [like] other Black girls…you’re a nerd, you’re quiet and sweet…not ghetto.” A quote I’ve heard was “I hate ghetto bitches.” Knowing the connotation of the word “ghetto” I knew he was talking about Black women and it just totally turned me off. Plus, he asked me could I twerk, so I just felt like an object at that point.”
All of these odd views on interracial dating have for the most part gone unchecked by Black men, and when Black women do bring it up, they break out their tried-and-true defense:
“When I was younger, I was made fun of for liking nerdy things, so I assumed Black girls didn’t want me.”
And how many times have you seen this comic floating around the internet?
There seems to be this narrative going around that Black women don’t like nerds, that they prefer buff Black men who are hyper masculine. The media representations of Black Masculinity are dichotomized; the more athletic or hyper aggressive they are, the more widely accepted the person. Because of this, the general consensus for the longest time has been that being a Black nerd was not an ideal form of Black Masculinity. The Carltons couldn’t hold a candle to the Wills of the world.
But the world has changed. Michael B. Jordan, heartthrob of Black Panther admitted to reading manga scans every week on his Twitter. This is the guy who played the son of Apollo Creed, a figure of peak Black masculinity. But this assumption that Black women don’t understand nerd culture simply isn’t true, as there are countless platforms created by Black women to share their love of anime, manga, and everything else that falls under the nerd flag. Adorned By Chi, Roxxy Haze, and Nerdy POC are all confronting the idea that Black people can’t be multifaceted in their interests.
Even with this advent of Black nerd channels, there seems to be some underlying tension between nerdy Black men against Black women that often stems from them letting their childhood trauma fuel their misogynoirist views.
Let’s take it back to when I was in high school.
I was once that kid. I walked through the halls of my high school with my headphones blasting, racing to the library computers after the bell rang to catch the newest episode of Naruto. Kids picked on me for liking anime. They shunned me for my lack of knowledge of sports.
Because of that my head was always down, and I barely looked people in the eye. Whenever anyone engaged in conversation with me, I put myself down in no less than 3 sentences. I hardly ever ironed my pants. I got a haircut maybe once every two months. When it came to girls I liked, I never talked to them long enough to really get to know them.
It was foolish of me to think that a girl didn’t want to be with me just because I tuned into Ichigo Kurosaki’s adventures every week. I took the negative comments of a handful of my peers and made it a part of my identity. The word “loser” felt tattooed onto my brain and I did nothing to try to shift that image. There were Black girls that I wanted to date, that I just didn’t get the chance to. However, I had a genuine problem with social anxiety that I needed to deal with before I was able to build true relationships with anyone. But guess what happened come graduation? Everyone went their separate ways, and I had to move on with my life. Looking back on those years I can admit that one of the reasons I couldn’t get a girlfriend was how I presented myself.
Is the frustration valid? Yes. Is it often misplaced? Absolutely. We know or used to be that kid in school who was made fun of for “talking white” by Black and white kids alike. But high school is not the zenith of human development (well it shouldn’t be). In these spaces, kids whose brains are still developing are going to make insensitive jokes about anything they feel makes someone other, with a complete lack of empathy. Coming from a place of understanding, I wanna say that being ridiculed for doing things that slipped outside of the box of Black masculinity that society tried to put you in was wrong, and it’s not fair.
However, none of this gives you the right to mock, ridicule, or pull rank on Black women in the nerd community. They grew up liking the same shows as you, aspiring to be the same characters as you, and dealing with the same anti-blackness in this society as you, even more so because they are women. You piling onto them does nothing to help in the long run. If you want to date outside your race, go right ahead. But don’t put your reasoning on Black women’s inability to support you. Black women do not owe you anything, and you need to stop taking them for granted, whether you have one as a romantic partner or not. Like it or not, our fates are intertwined, and we need to love and support one another.
The sons of Childish Gambino who enjoy hobbies that don’t necessarily line up with America’s vision of the quintessential Black man need to understand that it’s okay be alternative, but if it’s at the expense of Black women, it’s gotta go. It’s not your hobbies that made you undesirable: It’s you!
Clean up and come correct. Owning a Konoha headband don’t entitle you to a damn thing.
Suggested Reading
“’13 Reasons Why’ Isn’t as revolutionary as you think it is“— Han Angus, Medium (May 20, 2018)
“Black Girl Magic Syndrome” — Nerdy POC, Medium (January 27, 2017)
“Get familiar with ‘FML” (F**k My Life)- An interview with web series creator Viktoria I.V. King” — Jamil Ragland, Black Nerd Problems
Lorenzo is a freelance writer from Silver Spring, MD. With a background in Creative Advertising from Virginia Commonwealth University, he’s been using his writing and graphic design skills to promote his personal work as well as pro-bono work for various non-profit organizations such as Teach For Liberia and The Black Minds Matter Project. He’s written pieces for Blerds Online and Nerdy POC. He is currently a staff writer for Black Nerd Problems. From interviews with Boondocks producer Carl Jones to Emmy award winning comedy writer Lena Waithe, Lorenzo always has his fingers on the pulse of pop culture. One of his main goals is to increase visibility for plus-size queer black men and men of color.
